


If you love me, don't let go

by busybeegracie



Category: Me Before You (2016), Me Before You - Jojo Moyes
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7912549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/busybeegracie/pseuds/busybeegracie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon-divergent AU in which the events of After You collide with those of Me Before You and the overlap of the two stories creates a very different outcome and some very different challenges for Will and Lou. </p><p>WARNING: Contains spoilers from After You.</p><p>edit ~ probably not going to be updated for a while!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So basically I haven't written - let alone published - fanfiction for about three years, and I haven't written any for Me Before You. So I'm kind of terrified, but I just thought what the hell? I'm in love with this story so, so much. And it is perfect, but since I read After You I really wanted to write this.
> 
> I've got a plan for how this story is going to pan out, but I'm already making adjustments as I was sure I'd write it in third person but when I started actually writing this chapter, I ended up writing it in Lou's POV! I think some chapters will be third person and some will be first person, and if they are in first person the character's name will be stated at the beginning!
> 
> As I said - it contains spoilers from After You, so do not read beyond this point unless you have read the book or don't mind major spoilers!

**Louisa Clark**

_“Come with us,” he said. His voice was gentle. “Don’t go, Clark. Please.”_

_I wanted to cry then. But I knew with utter certainty that I couldn’t be anywhere near him. “No, thank you. I hope you have a lovely meal.” I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and, before anyone could say anything else, I was walking away from them, swallowed up by the crowds in the terminal._

I was on the bus, which was driving away from the pavement where Mrs Traynor was still slumped against Mr Traynor, her mouth open wide with shock. I hadn’t looked back since I had told Mrs Traynor that I was resigning as I couldn’t do these last few days and I didn’t even want this months’ wages. I was furiously blinking away the tears that prickled at my eyes as I sat at the nearest available seat, and I don’t know whether or not I was glad to see that the sight of Will Traynor’s heartbroken parents had now escaped my peripheral vision.

Despite everything, a little while later I found myself getting off at the stop the opposite end of town to my house. And before I knew it, I was headed to Granta House. This had been home for the past month or so, and I had no idea why I was even going there before I went to my parents. I presumed it was to get some of my things to shorten my next visit, to make it less painful for not only me but the grieving Traynors too.

The closer and closer I got, the sicker I felt. I was now hyperventilating, and it was only as I was making my way down the long drive, that was now so familiar to me when six months ago I wouldn’t even have given it a second glance, that I noticed there was a young girl crouched before the double-fronted house. Her hair was brunette, her skin slightly tanned. When she noticed me, she pushed herself up, looking a little flustered. I stopped in my tracks. She had long, skinny legs to contribute to her slim figure, and her dark hair, which was wavy, was nearly down to her bottom. She was a beautiful creature, yet she could only have been about fourteen or fifteen.

“Hello? Who are you?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I wanted to stop, but as I got closer I  realised she looked dreadfully tired.

When I finally did, she looked me in the eye and said with confidence, “I’m Lily. Lily Houghton-Miller.” I began to ask myself why there was a young girl waiting outside the Traynors’s house with a bag, when she said, “I’m looking for Will Traynor. Are you Louisa Clark?”

“How do you know who I am?” I asked, confused and panicked.

“I’m looking for my father,” she said.

I took a deep breath. “Why do you want to talk to Will Traynor?” My heart was in my mouth. “Sorry, I don’t think we know anyone called Houghton-Miller...”

I was cut off by Lily. “Not _his_ name.” She rolled her eyes as if I was stupid. “His name is Will Traynor. Duh.”

I loosened my grip on my bags, letting them drop to the floor. I felt myself flush, and then said “what? Sorry. I don’t understand. You must’ve got the wrong Will Traynor. Will doesn’t have any children.” I wasn’t exactly sure whether I was saying this for her benefit, or for my own.

She began to look slightly fed up now. “Yeah, well he does. Where is he? I’ve been here for days.”

I raised an eyebrow, ignoring her first statement. “Days? Where have you been sleeping?” I could hardly hide my shock, or concern for that matter.

“Oh, just around.” Lily’s confidence began to wear off slightly, and she seemed to be getting agitated. “Where is he? I’m not… I’m not too late, am I?”

She saw my confusion, and told me that it had been in the newspaper that former businessman Will Traynor, who was currently residing in Stortfold, was planning to kill himself, and his family had agreed to take him to Dignitas. “The man who sold the story was called Patrick. Apparently he is your ex-boyfriend?”

I was briefly distracted by a feeling of crushing betrayal, but within nanoseconds it turned to anger. However, I was quickly knocked out of my thoughts when Lily continued, “it stated that you have been his carer for the past six months. Anyway, fuckface Francis – my step-dad – brought home a newspaper and my mum flipped and I overheard them talking in the bathroom. She told him Will Traynor is my father.”

“When I asked her, she just said Will was an awful man and would’ve been a terrible father to me. And then went on about how fuckface will always be my true dad, and that he is twice the father to me than Will Traynor every could’ve been. Even though he’s not my actual dad.”

I wasn’t sure if she’d said anymore. There wasn’t a lot I wasn’t sure of anymore. My head hurt. I struggled to grasp it all. And then I looked at her, and I saw Will in her. I saw his colouring, his eyes… in fact, examining her, I thought she looked so like him it was ridiculous. Maybe I was trying to see it, simply because she said he was her daughter, but I honestly thought she looked almost exactly like a young feminine version of him, with slimmer eyebrows, a smaller nose and an ever so slightly rounder, freckled face. It was probably a while before I noticed she had begun to roll her eyes at me, looking extremely fed up, arms folded. “Come with me,” I said, as I walked past her to the backdoor to the annexe, twisting the key in the key hole as the door opened. My thoughts were racing.

I dumped my bags the door and the minute we were in, she slumped her whole body on the sofa. I wanted to tell her off, to tell her to take her shoes off because Mrs Traynor would be furious, but the empathetic part of me did remember she must’ve been outside for days. And all because she wanted to see Will. She had just found out that who her father was and that he was going to kill himself, all at once, so I decided better of saying anything other than offering her a drink. “Coffee will do,” she said, breathlessly, as if she had just ran a marathon.

I made the coffee in near silence, and it was only when I sat down at her feet with a cup of tea in my hands that I started talking again. I had been thinking of things such as where she lived, whether she was actually genuine, what she was like, what she thought of Will going to Dignitas to name a few, but I settled for, “who is your mother?” It seemed a reasonable place to start.

“Her name is Tanya Miller,” Lily replied. “So, where is my dad? Has he… has he gone to Dignitas?”

I shook my head. “No.” Lily sighed, presumably out of relief. But then it went quiet. I didn’t really know what to say. “Not yet, anyway,” I said, my voice trailing off when I’d realised – a little too late –that was probably wasn’t the best thing to say.

“Are you going with him?” she asked. I didn’t say anything, I was too focused on blinking away tears that had begun stinging the backs of my eyeballs when I remebered the events of the last 24 hours. “Fancy here and, ooh, lots of DVDs,” Lily said, suddenly standing up. She made her way over to one of the shelves. “Does my dad speak French?” she asked when she saw the film Will and I had once watched. It was the first one we had watched together.

I was quiet. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what. “Do I look like him?” she asked. “Have you got any cigarettes?”

“How old are you?” I asked.

“Fourteen,” she said, letting out a groan when I shook my head in answer to her question. She leant over to her small bag, fumbling around in it, looking slightly pleased with herself when she found a single cigarette. She pulled out a lighter from her pocket. I thought I should tell her she couldn’t smoke in here, and that she probably shouldn’t be smoking aged fourteen anyway, but I was too taken aback. By what she had told me. By Will. By everything. And, foolishly enough, I couldn’t help but feel like she was that cool kid in your class who everyone wants to impress. I put my head in my hands, my head suddenly back in Mauritius. I had told Will I loved him, and he had simply said that wasn’t enough. How was I meant to live with that?

“What’s he like? Then?” Lily asked, taking a drag from her cigarette. “I mean, I’m not expecting him to be very jolly seeing as he wants to take himself off to that place in Switzerland. But what is he like? My mum said he’s an asshole.”

“He is not an asshole,” I said, firmly. It had come out more angrily than I had intended. It wasn’t even that I was angry with her, partciularly. She didn’t seem to take much notice, simply shrugging and saying that from her mother’s description he sounded like one.

“But… then again, my mother says Francis stupid fuckface Houghton is a good dad. So…”

“Nice name,” I remarked.

“So where _is_ he?” Lily asked. It was only then that it occurred to me she had asked this question a good few times, and I hadn’t told the poor girl the answer.

“Out for a meal with his parents and his other carer, Nathan,” I said.

“And what’s with all the suitcases?” she asked.

“We just got back from holiday. Me, him and Nathan-“

“Wait,” Lily began. She looked confused and slightly aghast. “Let me get this straight. My dad wants to kill himself in – what? A few weeks or something. Yet he’s still living the life. Swanning off on holiday.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand this. I don’t understand any of this. This whole fucking thing.” I felt the colour fall from my face. “You haven’t even told me anything about my dad! I had to ask about three times for you to even tell me he was having lunch. You don’t believe me, do you?”

“I do believe you. I just – it’s a lot to take in. And, Will… he would have told me. I swear. We talk a lot. He would’ve said something…”

“Yeah, well he didn’t,” she said crossly, tears welling up in her eyes. “You don’t want to help, do you? You don’t care. You haven’t told me a single thing about my dad!”

Before I knew it, she was running for the front door. I got up, spilling some of my tea – which had gone cold - over my skirt in the process, and ran after her. She was hurtling up the drive, her fists in her eye sockets , when I saw in front of her the people carrier had pulled up. She slowed, and I put my arm around her. I felt her recoil, but not enough. She turned her back on the Traynors as they emerged from the car. “What’s going on, Louisa?” I heard Camilla Traynor’s voice behind me. I hadn’t noticed at the time, but it wasn’t as steady or firm as it normally was.

“Don’t tell them who I am,” Lily whispered to me, so quietly I only just heard. I turned round, and gulped. Mr and Mrs Traynor were staring at me, confused, when Will emerged, Nathan behind him.

“What’s going on, Clark?” Will asked. “Who is this?” Lily turned round at the sound of Will’s voice. She had been wiping her eyes furiously when her back was turned, and she locked eyes with Will. I asked Mr and Mrs Traynor if we could have some time alone with Will, and after what seemed like forever, Camilla Traynor reluctantly agreed, and followed her estranged husband back into the main section of Granta House.

Nathan smiled politely to Lily and patted my arm as he followed Will past us. He was clearly bewildered. When we got in the house, he announced he would change Will’s tubes and bathe him, then he would leave us to it and see us in the evening. Lily seemed confused at the term ‘change Will’s tubes’. I explained to her briefly. She nodded, and then asked quietly if there was any coke in the fridge. When Will and Nathan emerged, Nathan gave me a friendly hug, and then shook his head, before saying goodbye to both Lily and I.

And then it was just us three. Will raised his eyebrow and eyed Lily up and down. I wondered if he had noticed the striking resemblence between them. I had, even more since Will had arrived. Will turned to me, and said, “I’m glad to see you again, Clark.” It took him a few minutes to remember Lily was there, and he looked her in the eyes and asked who she was.

“I’m Lily,” she said, matter of factly. “I’m your daughter.”

Will sniggered in response. It soon turned into full on laughter. Lily just stared at him, blankly. She was capable of that same unreadable expression he often had, I observed. “My… my what?” He said. He still looked hysterical. I wasn’t sure what to do.

“You heard me,” Lily said, and folded her arms. “God, I think I need another fag,” she muttered.

“You’re actually being serious…” Will observed. “Jesus. My what? I don’t have a daughter.”

“Turns out you do,” Lily said. “Hate to break it to you.” She was just as sarcastic as he was.

Finally, Will turned to me. “Where did you find this young lady, Clark?”

“She was here. Well, just outside. I… I came to collect my things.”

Will looked at me sadly for a minute, and then turned his attention back to Lily. “So, would you enlighten me as to who your mother is?”

“Tanya Miller,” Lily said.

Will pursed his lips. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he just looked down. The silence was almost unbearable, but I was frozen. Never had I thought there could be a worse silence than when Will and I were first introduced. “So… if you are really my daughter then, you must be about fourteen?” This confirmed to me that he knew who Tanya Miller was, and that he had had sex with her, so there was definitely a possibility Lily was his daughter.

“And six months,” she replied, quickly. Will considers this for a moment, but before he can say anything else, Lily asks, “do you have any food? I’m starving.” The contents of the fridge was farly empty. I offered her a bag of crisps from the cupboard. She shrugged before readily taking them and crunching on them noisily, open-mouthed. Will just stared at her.

I made my way to Will’s side, placing my hand on his own. “Lily’s come from St John’s Wood,” I told him. Immediately, Lily glared at me.

“You don’t have to talk across me,” she said, and I almost laughed at how much she sounded like him. “I am here, you know- oh!” She exclaimed, with a laugh. “You’re holding hands! Do you have the hots for each other?” she asked, looking quite amused. Even Will couldn’t hold in his laughter. “Are you going out?!”

“No,” I said, taking a deep breath. I saw my knuckles had gone white where they lay on Will’s hands, and I wasn’t really sure why. Lily just made a noise, as if to say _of course not_ sarcastically, and then giggled before asking where the loo was. I pointed in the direction of the toilet, and we heard her burp as she made her way to the bathroom. Will made a face. “I’ve got a daughter,” he said, his face a picture. And then, very loudly, “shit.” I told Will that Lily was fourteen and how he found out about him, secretly terrified of what Will’s reaction to what Patrick did would be. However, he seemed slightly more distracted by the fact he had just discovered he had a teenage daughter who his girlfriend from college had never told him about.

When Lily emerged from the bathroom, she looked disappointed when Will told her we would go to her mother’s house. “Why do we have to go there?” she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Because I think we should let your mother know where you are, and we need to dicuss where we go from here,” Will replied.

“I don’t want to see her,” Lily shook her head.

Will raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Why?” he asked, speculatively.

“Because her and fuckface don’t care about me,” she said. When she saw his confusion, she confirmed fuckface was her stepfather. Will could hardly hold in his laughter at her language. “She sent me off to boarding school so that her and fuckface and the twins could have their own little family. They don’t want me.” It was only then that I realised this might be the thing to change Will’s mind. I felt so awful for thinking that, but I’d just put two and two together and all I could do was hope that deep down Will would realise he can’t leave this young teenager - highly strung and full of life as she may be - who has just found her father.

+++

About an hour and a half later the Traynors’s people carrier arrived at Tanya Miller’s house in St John’s Wood. We were staring at tall white stucco buildings and carefully trimmed yew hedging. Lily sat in the front passenger seat next to me, while Will sat in the back. We hadn’t said much to Will’s parents. Only that we were popping out, and before Mrs Traynor could object, we were making our way out of Stortfold. Lily let herself in as I watched Will make his way down the ramp. A few minutes later, the two of us – me with my hand resting on his shoulder – were stood in a spacious, high-ceilinged hallway with parquet flooring.

I felt awkward the minute we arrived. I saw myself in a huge gilt mirror that was resting against the wall, and felt immediately like I didn’t belong. Technically, I didn’t, but Will noticed my discomfort. At least he had the heart to hide his amusment. “Come on, Clark,” he said, “you’re not the one who is about to bump into an ex you cheated on in college who – it now turns out – had your baby that you never knew about.” He had a point. As always. It was only then I heard the shouting. We followed the noise, and I admired the neatly arranged flowers sat in vases on vintage tables briefly as we made our way into what was evidently the kitchen.

It was enormous, painted modernest grey with an endless mushroom-coloured worktop. We were stood slightly behind a tall, slim, blonde lady. Lily was facing us, from the other end of the room, leant against a fridge. She held a box of pineapple slices, which she was eating with with her hands. My hand ran from Will’s shoulder down to his hand, and I rested my fingers against his. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused? We’ve had to cancel our trip to see Granny Houghton, and I’m absolutley exhausted from being up with your brother for half of last night!” I guessed this was Tanya Miller. She was shouting so loudly it was clear she hadn’t heard my footsteps or the low hum of Will’s chair. Lily was rolling her eyes.

“You haven’t done too badly for yourself,” Will observed, raising an eyebrow. Tanya Miller whipped around. Her blonde hair was expensively cut and coloured, and she wore designer jeans. Her skin was tanned.

“Will!” She gasped. Lily just giggled at the other end of the room. “How did you meet Lily?”

“Well, Clark here,” he nodded to me, “found her at our house. We got back from holiday this morning, Lily had been there for days looking for us. So, I’m now curious to know… why did you not tell me that we had a daughter together?”

Tanya blushed furiously. “Because you’re a twat,” she said, matter of factly. I thought I briefly saw guilt flash in her eyes, gone as quickly as it was there. There was a loud crash coming from the ceiling. We all looked up, apart from Lily, who was licking pineapple juice from her fingers.

We thought Lily hadn’t taken any notice, but she broke the silence. “My brothers,” she said, dismissively, in mine and Will’s direction.

“There was no point in telling you,” Tanya began talking again. “We’d left college and, well, you seemed so eager to get rid of me.” She shrugged, as if it wasn’t that important that Will had a daughter.

“No point in telling him?” I hadn’t meant to say that aloud, but I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My hand still rested on Will’s, and he looked up briefly, then turned his attention back to Tanya.

“And what’s all this about sending her off to boarding school? So you and…” Will must’ve realised he didn’t know Francis’s name, as Lily had only referred to him as fuckface. “…your husband could have your own little family. With your twins. Without her.”

“I did what I had to! It was too hard… I couldn’t look after her.” Will snorted. “It was too much for me.”

“Oh, cry me a river!” Will raised his voice.

“I’d like to see you do better,” Tanya sniggered, eyeing him up and down her. Her gaze then rested on me and she did the same.

“I think we will,” I said. It came out before I realised what I was even saying.

“Oh, be my guest!” Tanya laughed. “She’s delightful,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Lily looked at us weakly, and then asked, “can I stay with you?”

Will and I briefly exchanged a sideways glance. “Of course you can, Lily,” Will said. “Get your things and we will be waiting outside.” I was surprised Will didn’t make a sarcastic comment as he turned himself around and back down the long hallway and out of the house, but half relieved too. I was simmering with rage; it took me about a minute or so to notice Will had left. I don’t think I had ever despised someone so much as Tanya Miller in my whole life. I scribbled down my number, just in case of emergencies, and left it lying on the side.

Will had a smirk on his face as I made my way outside. I wanted to ask him what it was about, joke about it, sit myself on his lap, but I knew I couldn’t let myself be that close to him. I was going to have lost him within days… wasn’t I? I suddenly thought of Lily. He had just invited her to stay with us, yet he was planning to fly to Switzerland within 72 hours to kill himself. I felt sick.


	2. Chapter 2

Louisa had nothing to say to Will. That became clear to him just a few minutes into their journey back from St John’s Wood to Stortfold. Or, perhaps, it wasn’t so much that she had nothing to say, simply that she couldn’t bear to say it. Lily said it instead. “Dad,” she said, addressing Will. He wasn’t used to being called dad that it took him a few seconds to realise it was actually him Lily was talking to. Something in Louisa ached hearing this.

“Yes, Lily?” Will replied. Funnily enough, he rather enjoyed being called dad. _I have a daughter_ , he thought to himself, not for the first time in the past quarter of an hour.

When Lily turned round, Will noticed she looked as if she was about to cry. This made him sad, and, at the sight of it, he himself felt like he could cry too. It didn’t make sense. “When are you… when are you going? To Switzerland?” Louisa almost lost her grip on the steering well.

Will wanted to make a snarky remark about Louisa’s driving. But he couldn’t, because, suddenly, he found himself overwhelmed with the fact that it all did make sense. He was a parent. “I’m not going,” he told her, before he even realised what he was actually saying.

Lily’s face lightened up. “Does that mean I can come and stay with you and Louisa more often?” Will’s heart warmed at the sight of his daughter looking so happy. It felt a bit like looking in a mirror – looking at Lily. Although Lily looked slightly more feminine, unsurprisngly.

“Of course,” Will smiled. “You can come stay as often as you like.” Clark hadn’t said anything, but as he looked into the front mirror, he could see her cheeks were wet with tears. Tears of relief, he hoped. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about it, but now he was going to have a family of his own. No Dignitas. He was going to be hanging around for a while longer… or at least, hopefully he was. He was hoping he would be around for longer… he could hardly believe what he was thinking. Lily filled the rest of the car journey with her chatter; she was clearly excited at the prospect of having somewhere she could stay for as long as she likes, being accepted by a family and getting to know her dad. Will was going to do whatever he could to make sure Lily felt loved. He hadn’t known she’d existed until less than a few hours ago, yet she suddenly seemed to be his number one priority. Coming even before Dignitas.

However, Will was also scared. He was terrified. He was glad the car journey was only about an hour and five minutes, because he didn’t know how much longer he could bear it. Listening to his daughter’s laughter and sarcasm that was a match for his should’ve been the best thing in the world, yet, he felt sick to the pit of his stomach. He was glad Lily was desperate for the loo, as it meant he was left alone with Clark. “Do you mean it?” Louisa asked, not being able to hide her smile and her relief, wiping the tears of happiness from her eyes. She hardly seemed to care now that her love had not been enough for him. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Will was going to live.

“Yes,” Will said, his voice beginning to croak. He was now out of the vehicle. When she saw his face beginning to crumple, and the tears beginning to roll down his eyes, she stopped feeling the euphoria she had felt just seconds previously. She wasn’t as happy as she’d imagine she’d be on the occasions she’d dared to imagine she would actually change Will’s mind. All she wanted to do was hug him, to make him feel better. She felt overwhelmingly guilty, and she wasn’t really sure why. Her happiness had slightly evaporated, as she manouvered herself carefully onto his lap and wiped his tears away for him. She could see from the frustration in his eyes that he hated the fact he hadn’t been able to hide his despair by wiping them away himself. She looped her arms around his shoulders and, not knowing what else to do, he leant his head into her chest and found himself unable to stop the tears. “I’m scared,” he whispered, his voice muffled. “Clark, I am so scared.” He shook his head helplessly.

He hadn’t meant to do this. Of course, what he’d meant to do was go to Dignitas, yet he found himself choosing life over death once the choice had finally been his. “Look at me,” Louisa told him, kindly but firmly, as she leant back and cupped his cheeks. “Will, it is OK to be scared. I’m here, alright? I will always be here. You have me… and you have Lily. Will, Lily is the reason you have the strength to go on. You have a daughter, and she is beautiful on the inside and the out. She’s just as sarcastic as you, unfortunately for me, yet she’s so full of life and we can both tell she is an extremely bright young girl.”

“You, Clark, and Lily, are the best things that have ever happened to me,” Will said, after she wiped his eyes again.

They could hear screams from inside the annexe. For a brief moment, they’d forgotten about Lily. “Oh my God!” They were cries of delight. Lily was holding two pairs of Louisa’s heels. One pair were her leprechaun drag queen heels, which instantly made Will laugh aloud, despite himself. “You have the most awesome style, Louisa!” On any other day, Louisa would’ve been angry that Lily had taken her shoes, yet, right now, she was too amused to even wonder why Lily had gone into her room.

“Shit,” Will muttered, at a volume only Lousia could hear, and she burst out laughing even more. Lily raced back inside. Lou just smirked at Will.

“I think someone’s a bit outnumbered now,” she smiled.

“I can’t wait to have those delights hanging up in my room. Just wait until my mother sees. I’m sure she’ll be so pleased!” Will laughed, sarcastically.

“Up in your room?” Lou sounded scandalised.

“Well, you can’t sleep in your room anymore, can you? Lily’s coming to stay with us now!” Louisa opened her mouth, and then laughed.

“I see,” she smiled, an eyebrow raised, before leaning in to kiss his cheek. She rested her head on his, their noses touching.

Will turned his head so he could look into Louisa’s eyes. “You must promise me one thing, though, Clark. You are not to let me hold you back. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Live boldly. Live well. Just live.” He hadn’t intended for her to hear those words yet, or here. Actually, he hadn’t intended for her to hear them at all. Rather he had intended for her to read them, as she sat in Paris on one of those chairs that never sits quite right on the pavement.

She smiled. “I saw a text from Treena earlier. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon with the college, for a fashion course. The college offer flexible study, as well as open study. If they accept me, I have to do a foundation course for a year and then I can go on to do study fashion. And I can do it sometimes from home, and sometimes at times agreed by me and the college.” Will couldn’t help himself but smile. “I am going to do that knowing you are here and that you are behind me every step of the way.”

“Well then,” Will smiled, “I think we better go and make sure my daughter hasn’t turned your room completely upside down. Not that it’d be too much of a problem, of course, seeing as you’ll be sleeping with me from tonight onwards.”

+++

When Nathan arrived, Louisa and Lily were shifting things about in the guest bedroom. Nathan laughed at the display of Louisa’s shoes in Will’s room. “And can you believe it? Lily _likes_ Clark’s clothes. She wants to go shopping with her someday soon!” At Nathan’s confusion, Will remebered Lily and Nathan hadn’t been properly introduced. “Lily, this is my nurse and my good friend, Nathan,” he smiled. “And Nathan, this is my… daughter, Lily.” Will laughed at the astonishment on Nathan’s face as he shook Lily’s hand, going on to tell him Lily was going to be staying.

Judging by the fact Louisa was still here and moving into Will’s room, Nathan guessed that Will had changed his mind. He saved Will from this conversation and decided to talk to Lou just before he left. She nodded, a big grin plastered on her face. Nathan couldn’t help himself but smile too, and Louisa literally jumped into his arms, the pair of them laughing with delight. “You do know… it’s not going to be easy, though? You know, for Will…” Nathan said, not sure whether he should’ve said it or not a bit too late. Louisa nodded, before Nathan smiled and patted her arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” As he headed for the door, he turned around. “I’m proud of you, though, Lou. And pleased. Really pleased.”

Louisa was reluctant to leave the annexe, but said she should go and see her family and collect her the letter from the college that had arrived for her after dinner. And then it was just Will and Lily. “So, Lily, what do you normally like to do with yourself?”

They were outside. Lily had asked to see the garden, she told Will she was keen on gardening. Lily shrugged as she admired Camilla’s many flower beds. “Anything but homework and revision.” Will laughed.

“So you don’t enjoy school?” Lily raised an eyebrow, and then rolled her eyes. “Do you normally stay at your mum’s, then?”

Lily shook her head. “No. I stay at some of my friends houses. Well… I haven’t… recently.” When Will inquired as to why, Lily shrugged it off, and he assumed she’d had a petty fall out and didn’t bring it up again. “Sometimes I stay at Martin’s. He was the man I thought was my dad, until my mum got bored of him and got with fuckface Francis.” Will nodded, as she thought of anything else there was she could tell her dad. “I can play piano,” she said.

Will seemed impressed. “I used to play double bass,” Will said. “My parents didn’t really give me a choice, but I didn’t mind it too much.” Lily nearly asked if he still played it, but pursed her lips, remembering that it wouldn’t be possible. When she had first heard about her dad, all she’d been able to really think about was the fact that he was in a wheelchair. Yet, now she was sat with him and they were chatting away, she forgot about that.

“What are your parents like?” Lily asked, curiously. “I saw them earlier, although… I certainly embarrassed myself in front of them.”

Will shook his head, and then was silent for a minute or two. “I don’t really get on with them,” he told Lily, without thinking about it. It didn’t seem like the type of thing you said to a fourteen year old, but he’d said it anyway.

“Why not?” Lily asked. “Will they want to meet me? Will they like me?”

“Of course,” Will said. “I just… I don’t know. I’m not exactly the family type. I had my life in London, I had the job, I had the mates, the girlfriend. I didn’t really talk to them much until the accident.”

“What happened?” Lily asked. “How did you become a quadriplegic? The news wasn’t exactly specific…”

“Motorbike accident,” Will said, sadly, not really sure why he was that sad about it. “The bike hit me. Everyone thinks that it’d be something crazy, or at least that I was riding the bike myself… but - God’s little joke - it hit me. Lily nodded. “You have something in common with my mother, evidently… she loves her gardening. My father comes and watches films with me some evenings. He used to every evening, or at least most, but has come less since Clark moved in.”

“You fancy her, don’t you?” Lily asked, much to Will’s amusement.

Will raised an eyebrow, and she raised one back, her expression mirroring his. It made him smile. “I wouldn’t say fancy is the world, Lily,” he said. She just chuckled, before asking if he had any brothers or sisters. “I have a little sister, Georgina,” he said. “To be honest, I can’t say I get on majorly well with her anyway.” He shrugged. “She’s five years younger than me, so she’s twenty six. She lives in Australia.”

“When will I get to meet her?” Lily asked.

“I’m not sure. She may be coming here in… a couple of days,” Will said. It just reminded him that he had yet to discuss Dignitas with his parents, and he had no idea how he was going to do that. He hated that it was going to give them they knowledge they won. That they were right, and he was wrong. That he was persuaded. But then he remembered the girl stood next to him, gazing at the plants, naming the flowers, was his daughter, and that she was worth it. And Clark was too. God, was Clark worth it. He gritted his teeth.

“Is she on email?” Lily asked. When Will nodded, she asked if she could have her address.

“I’ll give it to you at somepoint,” he told her. Lily looked a little bit disappointed. She was clearly eager to talk to all of the family she never knew she had as soon as she could. But, then again, Will couldn’t blame her, and he felt a deep sadness for her. “I’ll tell her tomorrow, and perhaps you can talk to her on the phone. If she’s coming in a couple of days, you’ll get to meet her then.” He was relieved at the way her face lit up ever so slightly. They were chatting away the whole time Louisa was at her family home. They discussed many things from television and films to food to flowers to interior. A couple of times Lily’s phone went off, and she stared at it aghast for a few minutes, as if she was really scared or upset, but she shrugged it off and eventually turned it to silent, but apart from that the conversation ran smoothly. Once Lily had stopped seeming so worried about whatever was going on on her mobile phone, both her and Will had stopped worrying about what to say or what one thought of the other.

When it got colder, they headed inside to watch a film. Will chose the French film he had watched with Louisa. When Lily enquired as to what was so amusing, he told her the story of how Clark hadn’t been so keen on watching a film with subtitles. When his daughter seemed to have a similar reaction, he considered asking her to choose something else, but then said, “As your father, Lily Olivia Houghton-Miller, I am telling you you are going to sit and watch this with me.” She pulled a face, and then reluctantly put it on. She didn’t cry at the end quite like Louisa had, but she seemed to enjoy it. When he asked as much, she just stuck her tongue out at him. More than anything, he was glad that he’d managed to distract her from her mobile phone, if only for ninety minutes or so.

+++

Meanwhile, Lou and Treena sat in the box room, which was now spare, with a mug each of wine. “I’m so proud of you, Lou,” Treena told her. “I knew you could do it.”

Louisa shrugged. “Actually… it’s not me that changed his mind. Or the holiday, or any of the things I planned.” Treena went quiet. “His daughter turned up.”

“He had a daughter?” Treena couldn’t hide her surprise. Louisa just nodded at her expression.

“I’m not as disappointed that my love hadn’t been the thing to change his mind as you think I’d be. I’m just… glad that he wants to live. But it’s going to be hard, Treen. He is scared. He is terrified.” She said nothing, and simply placed her mug on the floor to envelope her sister in a massive hug. “I don’t really know what I can do. There’s nothing I can say to him.”

“But do you think he’s happy? Or, happy-ish? You know, with his daughter?” she asked. Lou nodded her confirmation, and it was sincere. She told Treena how much Will loves her, and how much she loves him. They hadn’t said anything like that to one another, but it was pretty obvious, even though they’d only just met. “God, a teenager. A teenage girl, too! Thank God Tom is a boy,” she laughed.

+++

As Will and Lily had been enjoying getting to know each other when Nathan would normally have put him to bed, Louisa put him to bed that night instead. Lily didn’t seem like the type of person to encourage physical contact, yet when Louisa suggested it was time to go to sleep – for Will’s sake – Lily wrapped her arms around her father, and let him kiss her on the cheek.

Will asked Lou to position him so that he could feel like was holding her. She positioned his arm carefully under her neck, and let her head rest on his chest. His other arm lay on her hip. She was in her penguin pyjama bottoms and a baggy Mickey Mouse top, but his hand was positioned so he could feel her warm skin under his fingers. His thumb was tracing her bumblebee tattoo. “I’m sorry,” he said, unexpectedly.

“For what?” Lousia pushed herself up so she could look at him, but he asked her to lay down again.

“For… for being an arse,” he said. “I’m still angry, at myself, at the world… but not at you. You, Clark, are the only person who I can talk to.” Despite Will’s protests, Lou pushed herself up again, stroking her hand on his cheek. She silenced his apologies with a kiss. “Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked her, abruptdly.

Louisa smiled, and rested her cheek against his. “Yes, Will, of course,” she said, wrapping her arms around him tightly, as he laughed.

“Woo!” they heard Lily yell jokingly from the other room. “Can I sleep now?” She sounded awfully fed up in the way only a teenager could, and Will and Lou just laughed. In fairness, they had left they door open.

The next morning, after Nathan left following Will’s morning routine, Louisa broached the subject of meeting Mr and Mrs Traynor. She also whispered to Will that they would need to cancel the following day’s flights, and therefore would need to know as soon as possible that Will wasn’t intending to go to Switzerland. He sighed. Lily originally asked for Will and Lou not to tell Mr and Mrs Traynor who she was at first, but they would want to know why Will had changed his mind. They would have respected her wishes otherwise – not least because Will hated the idea of letting her down, even if it was only slightly.

Lou and Will decided that she would go by herself. She sat next to Mrs Traynor on the sofa, with Mr Traynor perched to her other side on the arm. The Traynor’s dog lay at their feet. When Louisa told them that Will had changed his mind, both of them burst into tears. As they began to thank her, Louisa shook her head. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a… double whammy, but, uhm, Will changed his mind because he has a daughter.”

Their faces were priceless, and as more tears filled their eyes, she found she was crying too. “Her name is Lily and she’s full of life. She’s fourteen years old and has moved into the annexe with us. We went to visit her mother yesterday, and… Lily didn’t have a very good relationship with her, so we thought it would be best if she moved in with us. And we can be a proper family… Lily, Will and… me.”

“Louisa Clark,” Mr Traynor said, grasping my shoulder. “I think you must be the best thing that has ever happened to our son.” Even Mrs Traynor couldn’t find any fault, and she didn’t even try to.

While Clark was explaining everything to his parents, Will and Lily sat outside surrounded by the plants again. She told him the latin names of every plant there, and, although Will didn’t exactly think that much of gardening, he was proud of his daughter. “So,” he began, “how come you don’t want my parents to know who you are?”

Lily shrugged, and then looked a bit nervous. “I wanted to see if they liked me before we told them. You can just tell, you know, by the look in someone’s eyes, when they don’t really like you and they’re just putting up with you, but they don’t want you around.”

Camilla and Steven Traynor greeted Lily in the garden, with floods of tears and lots of kisses. There were also lots of hugs and tears for Will, and he had the grace not to make any rude comments. Lily hadn’t been told that it was her who changed his mind. Will had already touched upon the subject of Dignitas with her – that one time on the way back from Tanya Miller’s house, but he wasn’t keen on discussing it any further with her yet. He was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. All that seemed to matter to Lily was that he was alive, and that he wanted to be her dad.

Steven held Lily’s hands for what seemed like an eternity, and she accepted Mrs Traynor’s kisses and responded to both their hugs willingly. Will found himself welling up at the sight of it. They showed Lily inside the main house; Steven was showing her portraits of ancestors, remarking that she had the same eyes as one and the same hair colour as another. They showed a picture of Will and Georgina, in which Georgina was 12 and Will was 17; both of them bore an uncanny resemblence to her.

They decided they would eat lunch out before Louisa would leave for her interview. The menu was in French, and Will was amused that Lou didn’t understand a single thing on it. Lily’s French was better than hers. “Did you do any French in school?” Lily asked her. “My school make us do French way too much.”

“I got a B on my GCSE,” Lou said, awkwardly. Lily just laughed at her. She continued to scan the menu. _Joues de Boeuf Confites_. She nudged Will. “Something to do with beef?”

“Beef cheeks, that is, Clark.” Louisa scoffed.

“What type of cheeks?” Will just laughed.

“They’re from the cow’s face, Clark,” he told her, eyebrows raised, unable to hide his amusement. “Nowhere else.”

Lily spent most of the meal on her phone. She turned it onto silent about halfway through, as it became evident the constant pinging was getting on people’s nerves. Her grandparents didn’t seem as bothered as one would think they’d be. They just watched her intently, studying the features of this granddaughter they never knew they had. Will watched her intently too, but for fairly different reasons. He saw the discomfort that whatever was on her phone was bringing her, and Louisa clearly noticed it too. “Do you think maybe, I don’t know, we should ask her? What’s going on?” she asked. She had leant towards Will and was whispering in his ear. “I mean, I don’t want us to seem nosy, but it does seem like she’s quite troubled by it.”

They noticed she would position her phone screen down, perhaps so that nobody could see what she was doing on it. The dinner was pleasant enough, but Will was slightly concerned. He could tell Clark was worried too – and not just about the beef cheeks that she spent more time prodding with her cutlery as if it would magically go away than actually eating it. Mr and Mrs Traynor asked her about her hobbies; she said she used to do show jumping, and at her school she played lacrosse and hockey. Like Will, they were impressed that she was grade 8 piano. She explained Martin had taught her.

+++

When the Traynors arrived back at Granta house – minus Louisa, who was at her interview – Lily asked Will to show her around Stortfold. “I can take you to the castle,” he said. She shrugged and then nodded. As they sat in the shelter opposite the castle, away from people who could gawp at him, he told her how his father used to allow him have the keys after it closed and spend time there alone. He told her he had his first kiss there, and that he used to set himself the challenge of finding his way around the maze as quickly as possible and he would time himself.

He showed her his and Louisa’s favourite spots, locations in fields where they would have picnics. “What an exciting day out,” Lily said, sarcastically. “Some fields!” But she was laughing. And so was Will. When she nervously checked her phone for what must have been the hundrendth time that day, he dared to ask her about it. However, she just shook her head, assuring him nothing was wrong. Will raised an eyebrow, and didn’t make much effort to hide the fact he clearly didn’t believe her. However, he said nothing more about it. Maybe it was boy trouble, he thought. But then he thought that adults probably assume that too much. Normal teenage stuff? Perhaps. He thought he’d talk to Clark about it later. This was the type of thing he was used to causing, not sorting out.

Louisa arrived back to an empty annexe. She texted Lily, who replied saying her and Will were on their way back. The minute Lou opened the door to them, Will smiled and asked enthusiastically, “so then, Clark – how did it go?” Louisa almost leapt onto his lap.

“I got it,” she laughed.

“I presume that means your interview skills have improved in the last six months? From what I heard about yours with my mother, I’m very surprised you got the job. Were they in need of someone who could make good tea?”

“Funnily enough, they weren’t,” she said, shrugging. Will had helped her early this morning with the answers to some possible interview questions. She hadn’t gone wearing any of her mother’s clothes either – much to Will’s relief. She decided she was going to dress up as much as possible, seeing as it was a fashion course. “I have to do this foundation course which will take a year, and then it’s the three year fashion course.”

Will smiled at her, sincerely. He lowered his voice and said, “I’m proud of you, Clark, my beautiful girlfriend. Really, I am.” Louisa went on to tell him how she had arranged times to attend the college, and she also had work she would complete at home. The two of them watched television with Lily for the rest of the afternoon, and then when Nathan arrived Will went through the evening routine and then the two men sat in the garden, drinking beer, having a laugh for a good half hour.

Lou showed Lily her clothes, and made it very clear that if Lily was to touch anything of hers she must ask first. Lily laughed. “Alright, alright.” When Louisa showed her the bumblebee tights, she literally shrieked with delight. “These are amazing!” she laughed.

“Your dad got them for me for my birthday a few months back,” Lou told her.

Lily laughed. “I didn’t think my dad would get you anything like this! He doesn’t seem to be… the biggest fan of your style. Although, he did say to me, he wouldn’t change your ridiculous clothes for the world.” Louisa grinned in response to that. “So, my dad was telling me about the time you took him to the horse races.”

“Oh, God. Don’t remind me,” Louisa laughed, evidently cringing at the same time.

“Where else did you take him? He mentioned something last night about a classical music concert.”

“Oh, it was more like he took me, to be honest. It was my first concert. One of the violinists was a friend of his, and he sent us free front row tickets. I thought it was going to be boring, but it was amazing, and I was crying like a complete and utter idiot throughout the entire second half!”

Louisa asked Lily if she favoured any type of music, and Lily responded by turning her iPod up to its’ full volume and began nodding her head to the beat. Louisa was laughing at her playlist. One minute there would be a sad love song, the next a fast rap. Will and Nathan walked in on the two girls dancing awfully. “Well… Lily was alright,” Will said. “Not too sure about Clark, though.”

“Oh, piss off you!” Louisa laughed, nudging Will as Lily thundered a drum roll onto the nearest hard surface.

+++

The next day, Lily made both Lou and Will some coffee. She was slightly surprised that she had got up earlier than them, and slumped herself on the sofa, turning on the television. When Nathan arrived, he said a polite hello before going to wake Will up and he noticed she hardly acknowledged him. For the whole day, Lily was quieter. She seemed miserable, and when she went to have a shower in the late morning, Lou took it upon herself t check for anything that may hint as to why she seemed so down. Her phone was pin locked and Lily never answered any questions.

She only left to smoke. It hadn’t been until Nathan told her that smoking around Will wasn’t a wise idea that she agreed – reluctantly – that she would not smoke inside the annexe. “Your father and I thought we could go out for lunch,” Louisa told Lily in the early afternoon. “How would you like that?” Lily shrugged. The three of them went to a café that sold all day breakfast. Lily didn’t say a lot. She seemed fairly lifeless, apart from when her phone went off, which would cause her to jump and etch her face with worry.

She almost begged Louisa to buy her a bottle of wine. Will and Lou reluctantly gave in, but decided better of giving her anymore than a small glass. She fell asleep on the sofa, once again stretched out in front of the TV. Louisa removed the items from her pocket: her phone, cigarettes and a lighter and took them into her and Will’s room. After Nathan put Will to bed, Lou announced that she had bought them tickets for a classical music concert for three days time. The pair of them laughed when they thought about what Lily would say. “I’m sure she’ll love it, though,” Louisa said.

Will smiled, shutting his eyes. Lou wriggled into bed beside him, wrapping her arms around him. “I thought tomorrow we could take a trip to the art gallery? You can show her the difference between good and bad artwork then,” she said. The following day, Louisa still didn’t understand what was so awful about some pieces of modern art there, and Lily just pulled a face at every picture. When they sat in Pizza Express that evening, Louisa announced that she had arranged for them to have dinner with her parents tomorrow evening.

Georgina Traynor had arrived at Granta House from the airport when Louisa, Will and Lily got back from their dinner. Steven had picked her up. Lily and Will were sat in front of the television when she made her way into the living room of the annexe. “Hello,” she smiled – in Lily’s direction, not Will’s. She didn’t really acknowledge her brother that much.

“Who are you?” Lily asked, curiously. Will leant towards her and said this was her aunt, but it hadn’t taken it that long to work it out anway. She’d seen pictures and she looked very much like Will. Lily stood up and shook Georgina’s hand, and then Georgina eveloped her in an embrace. Lily, it seemed, had got tired of talking about herself, so Georgina spoke about her job in Australia.

“I have a boyfriend now, too,” she said, looking in Will’s direction.

“Well at least he won’t have to worry about the big brother flying over to roughen him up,” Will said, dryly.

Georgina rolled his eyes. “Will, I was originally coming to see you. To… to be with you… you know that.” She swallowed.

“Well, as you can see, I changed my mind,” Will said, matter of factly. He was saved from having anymore conversation with his sister by Nathan, who arrived to go through Will’s evening routine. Louisa awkwardly greeted Georgina. Despite the fact they had met multiple times before, she introduced herself as Will’s girlfriend.

“They’re gross,” Lily said, with a giggle. Louisa made Georgina and Lily both cups of tea before going to see Nathan in the kitchen.

“His hands and feet are slightly painful,” Nathan told her. “Don’t worry, nothing too serious, but they’re burning a tad. I’ve put some damp towels on them for him.” Louisa nodded. “He seems quite happy, now that Lily’s around.”

“He is,” Louisa smiled.

“He’s happy that you’re sticking around, too,” Nathan said. “He’s been talking about both of you ladies a lot. You’re doing a good job, Lou. You really are.” He smiled.

He opened his arms for Louisa, and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into him. “I just want him to be happy,” she said. “I really do.”

“And he is, Lou,” Nathan said. “He is. He’s getting there. It’s looking good, Lou. Trust me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven’t updated this fic in well over a year - which was not my intention! But school rather got in the way. But with Still Me coming up in January, I decided I wanted to continue writing this story:) although I’m a bit worried I’ve forgotten how to write these characters, so please forgive me if it’s not very good! :P

Will and Louisa were eating breakfast when Lily emerged the next morning. “You woke me up,” she groaned, although it was past 9 o clock. Will was suddenly taken back to being a teenager, when all he wanted to do in the mornings was sleep. Ironically, now he was in his 30s and once again, he had a bedtime and a wake up time.

”Good morning, Lily,” Will grinned - trying to seem as cheerful as possible, just to annoy her. It had come surprisingly easily to him - cheeriness - in the company of Clark and his daughter. He had eaten multiple times in front of her now, but Lily’s tired gazing at him made him feel uneasy, having his daughter watch him being handfed. God forbid Lily would ever have to handfeed him herself.

After making herself a cup of coffee, Lily re-emerged, holding a cigarette and a lighter, only to disappear out into the garden. When she came back, Will asked her, “how long have you been smoking?”

”Over a year,” she replied, dismissively. Will raised an eyebrow. Lily rolled her eyes, and he decided that he wasn’t going to say anything more. He didn’t much like the thought of her inhaling smoke into her lungs, but he had only really been her dad for a few days - who was he to tell her that she shouldn’t smoke? “I’m having a shower.”

It was a good few hours before she appeared again, and Will and Louisa were watching a film in the living room. “Is all you have cereal and toast?” Lily asked when she stuck her head round the door.

”What’s your idea of breakfast then, Lily?” Will asked her.

”I don’t know... I was hoping you’d have croissants or something? Bagels?”

”The door on the left of the kitchen; that leads to my parent’s kitchen,” Will told her. “They might have something a bit more fancy.” He did agree that cereal and toast was rather boring. “You have my permission to take as much of their food as you want.” Louisa made a mental note that when she next went to the supermarket she should get some croissants and some bagels.

”So, tonight we’re going to a classical music concert, Lily,” Will informed her when she slumped herself on the sofa beside Louisa, licking cream cheese off her fingers from a bagel she’d made herself.

”So the first thing you think of when you meet a daughter you never knew you had is take her to a classical music concert?” she huffed, but she didn’t object.

”Naturally,” he replied, although his daughter didn’t respond as she was typing a message on her phone, which was tilted away from Louisa’s view, probably intentionally. The film they were watching was almost finished, and she had been glued to it for the last two hours, but she still tried to glimpse at Lily’s phone briefly. It crossed Will’s mind to ask her who she was texting, but then it also crossed his mind that that would make him sound like the most boring, stereotypical father ever. _Were parents meant to care what their children thought of them?_ he wondered to himself.

•••

Nathan arrived early to assist Will in getting ready, and Louisa and Lily ventured out into town to look for something Lily could wear. There were no chain shops in Stortfold, but quite a few vintage shops and charity shops. Lily managed to pick out a smart dress that she liked anyway, much to Louisa’s surprise. It was a black 50s style dress that reached down to just above her knees and came with a petticoat, but she decided she’d forgo that for the concert. “It makes me look like I’ve got an umbrella under my skirt.”

Will opted for a similar look to when he went to see the violin concerto with Clark. Bow tie, blazer, white shirt. “You alright, Will?” Nathan asked, noting that he didn’t seem quite as content as he had done a few days earlier.

Will sighed. “I’m just a bit worried about Lily,” he told his friend. He realised in that moment that he was now one of those parents who needed to share their concerns about their children.

”How come?” Nathan asked.

”She’s always on her phone,” Will began.

”Well, that’s the youth of today for you, Will.” He had a point.

”But she always seems to be agitated, whenever she’s looking at the damn thing. And she’s so secretive about it,” he replied, before shaking his head, “I didn’t know she existed just a few days ago, and now I can’t stop worrying about her. It’s ridiculous.”

”Well, obviously I don’t know from personal experience, mate, but I don’t think it’s being ridiculous. I think that’s just called being a parent.” Nathan patted Will on the shoulder. “I dread the day - if it ever comes - that I’m one myself.”

”You sure you’re not already?” Will responded. “Not got any ex girlfriends who may have had a child and not told you?”

”I hope not,” Nathan replied. “Looking pretty dapper,” he observed. Will smiled his thanks. He was beginning to worry that his girlfriend and his daughter weren’t going to make it back in time, but they reappeared soon enough, and Lily was holding multiple shopping bags, labelled with names of places Will had never heard of, which spoke volumes considering this was where he’d grown up.

Louisa slipped into the same floral blue dress she’d worn to Alicia’s wedding. She hadn’t really left herself much time to decide what she was going to wear, but concluded that - with the exception of the red dress - every other frock she owned would cue a battering or at the very least a roll of the eyes from Will. She scraped her hair into a neat bun, or at least it was meant to look neat, before making her way to the kitchen, where Will was waiting.

”You look great,” Nathan smiled. “I’m assuming I can leave you guys to it, then?”

”Thank you, Nathan,” Louisa smiled, as he said bye to Will before making his way to the door.

”You do,” Will breathed. “You look lovely.”

”Lovely?” Louisa laughed, sarcastically, as she edged closer to Will. “Is that all you can say to your girlfriend?” Lily was no where to be seen yet, so Louisa assumed she was still getting ready and took the opportunity to position herself on Will’s lap.

”What would you like to hear, Clark?” Will asked inquisitively, amused by his girlfriend’s attempt at his humour.

”Something along the lines of stunning, gorgeous, perfect,” Louisa giggled.

”You don’t need me to tell you that I think you’re all of those things, and more,” Will smiled. Louisa brushed her lips against his, but their tender kiss was short lived as they heard Lily’s footsteps approaching. Louisa almost jumped off of Will’s lap, and he couldn’t help but laugh at how much the thought of his daughter seeing her on his lap startled her.

Their laughter was replaced with admiring gawping in Lily’s direction. Her make up was well done and her long, dark, wavy hair was draped over her shoulders. Will wasn’t sure if he was amazed by how beautiful she looked, or how similar she looked to his sister, and to him, for that matter. “You look incredible,” Louisa smiled appreciatingly, although then felt like a starstruck idiot immediately afterwards.

Lily was unflappable. She shrugged, “thanks.” But she herself was surprised by how smart her father looked. _Not too bad for a man in a wheelchair,_ she thought to herself, but then inwardly cursed herself, before remembering that her dad would probably have thought the same if he looked in a mirror.

The car journey had been filled with Louisa’s laughter and chatter. It was almost as if her good, positive nature was in competition with Will and Lily’s sarcastic, snarky mannerisms. That had always been the case, but now Louisa was well and truly outnumbered. The atmosohere was only broken by the multiple times Lily checked her phone; she went quiet and seemed to lose the ability to speak for a few seconds whenever a message came through. As determined as Lily had been to not enjoy the music, she realised what Louisa had realised a little while ago - that the charm of classical music was irresistible, or at least it was when it was being performed right before you. Louisa glanced over at her multiple times, waiting to see possibly a tear in her eye, but was left slightly embarrassed as once again it was only her who welled up during the oboe solo.

”Hey,” Will whispered to his daughter once they were back at the Traynor residence. Curiosity and concern had got the better of him. They were outside, and Lily was puffing away on a cigarette. She hadn’t asked Will to come out with her, but when he saw her tapping away on her mobile, he decided it might be time to mention it, although she seemed only to be made more tense by Will’s presence. “Is everything alright?”

”Yeah,” Lily almost snorted in response. She seemed slightly paranoid. Will wanted to tell her that if she wasn’t, she was more than welcome to tell him why, whatever the reason. But somehow he found himself unable to. He hadn’t quite got the hang of the caring, protective nature of being a father yet. The emotional stuff was never really his strong point.

When Nathan called in to put Will to bed, Lily disappeared outside again, cigarette in one hand and her phone clutched in the other. Louisa slipped into the plush bed beside him. “Well, I think we succeeded with turning Lily into a classical music girl,” Will remarked, as Louisa shifted so her head was against his chest.

”I don’t think she’d call herself a classical music girl. Not quite yet anyway, but she certainly seemed to enjoy it,” Louisa replied.

”Don’t forget she’s got my blood in her veins, Clark.” His arm was draped around her shoulder. They had only been sleeping in the same bed for a matter of nights, but it was already routine for Louisa to place his arm around her. In Mauritius, Will had told her he wouldn’t be able to be with her without the frustration of not being able to have sex, and he could not be more aware of that as he felt her chest against his, in the flimsy pyjama top she was wearing. But things had changed, he knew there was no changing his mind again. Somehow, he had to learn to be content with the live he was stuck living. Content was not exactly how he’d describe himself right now, but he was close. Closer than he’d ever been. Maybe he’d been too determined to not enjoy his life, to not settle for the wheelchair. But he was too tired to think about that now, and judging by the lack of chatter coming from Louisa which had been replaced by her deep breathing, he could only guess she was fast asleep.

•••

“My mum wants to see me,” Lily told Will and Louisa the next morning. Lily had only been staying with them for less than a week, and considering what he’d heard about Tanya’s treatment of Lily, he was slightly perplexed as to why. However, she was her mother, and despite that, Lily was free to see who she wanted. “I could do with picking up a few more things, anyway,” she said.

It had been decided that when Lily went back to school, she would attend boarding school during the week and then stay in Stortfold at the weekends. He knew he would come to miss his daughter’s foul yet ridiculous language and the constant rolling of her eyes when she would be away four nights at a time, but he wasn’t exactly going to suggest she left her friends to spend time with her wheelchair-bound father. In any case, it meant he would have more time alone with Louisa.

”When do you want to go?” Will asked her. “Clark, we haven’t got any adventures planned for today, have we? We can drop Lily off.”

”Oh,” Lily said. “It’s fine. I can get the bus.” Will found himself wanting to object. He wasn’t sure whether the fact he had only just found out about her existence meant he shouldn’t be too overprotective of her, or if it meant he should keep an eye on her, but Lily seemed to have a mature head on her shoulders. Or at least certainly mature enough to catch a bus. Will was too deep in thought to realise that he hadn’t replied. “Oh, don’t be one of those overprotective dads who won’t let their fourteen year old daughter catch a bus,” she whined.

”Not really my style,” Will said, indifferently, although he would rather drop her off. It amused him that the first parenting habit that had suddenly become second nature was the wanting to know where his daughter was, if she was safe and wondering if something could be troubling her.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite short compared to the last two, but I’m just getting back in the groove of writing these characters! As you may be able to tell, even though I’m aware After You took place a couple of years after Will’s death, I’m starting to incorporate Lily’s story into this fic.
> 
> The next chapter will be from Lily’s point of view!

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so this chapter was shorter than I intended it to be, as I hadn't originally planned for it to be in Lou's POV and obviously that kind of limits the one to one interaction between Will and Lily. I will try to start writing the next chapter asap (hopefully I will publish it within the next week before school starts again) and hopefully that will set the scene a little bit more.
> 
> Since finishing After You, I wanted to explore not only Will and Lou having a happily ever after of sorts, but also them as parents (especially Will), because of course I was sat there thinking 'but what if...?' One of the main things - if not the main thing - I am trying to achieve is to try to keep the characters as true to themselves as possible while giving them different stories.
> 
> Also, I am aware that this chapter only really included Lily, Louisa and Will, but - although they will always be the main characters - I am going to include more of the others, especially Nathan.


End file.
